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Crashing Down

May 25, 2016

 

I’ve heard the stereotypical label “Preacher Kid” directed towards someone countless times. In many cases the tone this is shouted out in often comes across as a form of harassment. Every time a fellow classmate would ask me, “So what are your parents work fields?” I could relate. I certainly don’t see why this has become a negative thing. Sure there is the idea out there that the child will be a prodigal but this is rarely the case. An interesting article on the matter can be found here: https://www.barna.org/barna-update/family-kids/644-prodigal-pastor-kids-fact-or-fiction#.V0O222Z2ui5

 

According to author David Kinnaman, after asking pastors what they wish they could have done better in regards to parenting, the most significant response was simply the desire to spend more time with their children. There are high demands and expectations of any leadership position, pastor or not. This often takes a greater amount of sacrifice and time serving in their workplace and community than most realize. There were certainly times growing up I wished I could have spent more time with my dad… go for a spin on our bicycles, grab a slurpee, work on my school diorama, or make a snow fort. Even though dad always made time for us as kids despite his work there was a period in my life I believed the lie that dad didn’t have time for me. Being the amazing leader that he is~ I saw him leading programming, comforting someone who lost a dear one, visiting the sick, I saw his patience with those who were confused and angry, listening to and counseling those grieving over difficult relationships. I thought to myself~ they need him more than I, so I ran. I ran with my emotions and my words. It is said that pastors kids live in a spiritual fishbowl since they are evaluated by all sides of the church. I never felt judged by the church however I certainly felt the pressure and expectation around me that I had to succeed. I idolized the need to be perfect and turned to my academics to do so. I’m sure you can guess this didn’t work for me in the long run because people are designed to have relationship. Relationship with our neighbourhood, workplace, lover, friends, our fathers… and it breaks my heart when any of these are neglected or uncared for. Am I ever thankful for the deep love, care, and commitment my father has for our family. My Father exemplifies grace even when it is undeserved. I am grateful for the incredible role model he is and that I can come to him with anything. And! It overjoys me that we can share moments of laughter!

 

Out of gratitude for my dad I more recently wrote a song for him which tells the story of a king caring for his people, the way he extends grace and compassion, and finds renewal and joy through the simple things in life.. But that is a story for another time!! XOXO.

 

Take a listen here!

 

https://soundcloud.com/jessica-rachelle/crashing-down-1

CRASHING DOWN

I FELT LIKE YOU HAD DISAPPEARED/ EVEN WHEN YOU WERE THERE/ I PUSHED YOU AWAY/ HOW COULD YOU CARE FOR THEM/ AND STILL SHOW YOUR LOVE FOR ME?/ SO I RAN SO FAR AWAY/ AND SOUGHT OUT WHO I WAS MEANT TO BE/ MAYBE THEN I COULD PROVE MYSELF/ TO BE WHO YOU LONGED FOR ME TO BE/ THEN IT ALL CAME CRASHING DOWN/ AND THE ACHE WAS TEARING US APART/ ALL THOSE TIMES I LOOKED AT YOU AND THOUGHT/ WE’D NEVER REACH THE END OF IT/ CAUSE YOU ALWAYS SEEMED TO HAVE THE ANSWERS/ THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR/ THEN IT ALL CAME CRASHING DOWN/ AND THE ACHE WAS TEARING US APART/ WE BOTH HAD TO GIVE IN/ TO OUR PRIDE TO HEAL/ I WISH I COULD TAKE BACK/ THE HURTS FROM BETWEEN US/ DAD I KNOW I WAS WRONG/ PLEASE GUIDE ME BY YOUR HAND

Lyrics © Jessica Rachelle 2014

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