The beginnings of this song came to life during my college years. This was a time in my life I had to sort through many doubts as I was battling with comprehending several different hardships. My friends were grieving the loss of loved ones, healing from near death accidents, and had parents battling with cancer. I remember visiting my friends Hannah & Gillian in their hospital rooms after the accident. Their wounds really shook me up, lying there so helpless. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. Sadness. Anger. Confusion. After all, I had grown up believing that there is a God. My soul seemed to frequently cry out, “GOD ARE YOU REALLY THERE!? If you are a God of love why is there such immense pain in our lives?” It was around this time I came across a quote that began to broaden my perspective. “We want the God of the magic wand. The God who makes the cancer go away. But more remarkably, he is the God who comes alongside us & suffers with us. He is the God who never leaves us.” ~Dr William Lane
As I was deeply going through several scriptural passages seeking out answers and constantly questioning, I became rather awestruck by the humanity and divinity of Christ. The song sings… “Walking through the desert with no place to go, I find myself crying out from my soul…” The intro portrays a deep yearning for hope, a sense of belonging for the suffering and persecuted soul. The reality the lost and weary are in. Jesus being not only divine, but fully human faced many of the same struggles as his people. Jesus grieved. He cried. He was hungry. He was even homeless.
Furthermore the song carries on… “They look down on me for who I am, forgetting all that you’ve done. I’ve been beaten and I’ve been bruised, my skin scarred, and my clothes are torn…” We have all experienced moments of criticism and shame, we have all been scoffed at in one form or another. This verse brings out the persecution of both Christ and humanity.
The chorus cries, “Here I am, calling out your name. Why can’t I hear your voice through my pain?… There you are, calling out my name. You hear my voice, and you bear my pain.” This reflects on feelings and moments of being lost, showing the need for relationship and community with one another.
I can’t say that I will ever fully understand some of the losses and battles we go through, the suicides, the sickness, or whatever it may be. Although I try and hold on to the fact that we are not alone on our pilgrimage. I try and hold onto the beautiful things that remain, and this gives me hope. There is still a lot of good in this world.
Here is the song! Take a listen :)
WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT/ WITH NO PLACE TO GO/ I FIND MYSELF CRYING OUT FROM MY SOUL/ THEY LOOK DOWN ON ME/ FOR WHO I AM/ FORGETTING ALL THAT YOU’VE DONE/ SO HERE I AM/ CALLING OUT YOUR NAME/ WHY CAN’T I HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGH MY PAIN/ I’VE BEEN BEATEN/ AND I’VE BEEN BRUISED/ MY SKIN IS SCARRED/ AND MY CLOTHES ARE TORN/ THERE YOU ARE/ CALLING OUT MY NAME/ YOU HEAR MY VOICE/ AND YOU BEAR MY PAIN
Lyrics © Jessica Rachelle 2014